Looking for the One

Dougie sighed. Stretched. Then he set his pencil down and pushed back from his desk.

He looked at the computer screen. The rows and columns of numbers staring back at him. He was tired of looking at them. Tired of working. He glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen. Then he groaned. It was only 9:30 PM.

Dougie rubbed his eyes, stifling another sigh. He really wanted to go to bed. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He still had to finish the current project he was working on. He still had at least another couple of hours of work ahead of him.Dougie picked up his pencil. He was just about to return his attention to the computer when he heard a noise from behind him. He paused. Listened. He heard it again. A soft knock at the door. Dougie set the pencil back down. He stood up and turned. He walked across the room. Opened the door.

Sumalee was standing outside. Dougie stared at her in surprise. “Hey.” Sumalee smiled back at him. “Hey, Dougie.” “What are you doing here?” he asked. “It’s Saturday. Don’t you remember?”. Dougie frowned. Then he did remember. Sumalee had come over to his apartment the last few Saturday nights. She’d come over to spend time with him. To cook him dinner. They’d watched television together. Sometimes they’d just talked. Sometimes Sumalee would rub his shoulders, or his feet.

Dougie always enjoyed her company. It made him feel better. Made him feel less lonely. He always looked forward to her visits. Usually. “Come on in,” he said. Sumalee stepped into the apartment. Dougie closed the door behind her, then followed her into the living room. Sumalee set her purse down on the coffee table, then turned to face him. Dougie watched her, his frown deepening. Sumalee was wearing a beautiful dress. Her hair was done up, too. She looked amazing.

Dougie suddenly felt embarrassed about his own appearance. He hadn’t expected Sumalee tonight, so he wasn’t wearing his usual Saturday night outfit. He was wearing an old t-shirt and sweat pants. He hadn’t shaved or showered or anything, either. He probably smelled. Sumalee stepped towards him. She took his hands in hers. Brought them to her lips and kissed them gently.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Dougie. I got held up.” Dougie stared down at her. “It’s okay.” Sumalee kissed his hands again. “I made dinner for you. I made Panang Gai.” Dougie smiled faintly. “That was nice of you.” Sumalee released his hands. Then she stepped past him. She picked up her bag and headed towards the kitchen.

Dougie followed her. In the kitchen, Sumalee set her bag down on one of the chair, then walked over to the counter. She began pulling Tupperware containers out of her purse. She arranged them on the counter. Dougie stood in the doorway, watching her silently. When Sumalee had everything set out, she turned to Dougie. She smiled at him. Then she walked over to him and took his hand.

“Come on. Let’s eat.” Dougie followed Sumalee back into the living room. She sat down cross-legged on the floor. Dougie hesitated, then did the same. Sumalee began opening up the containers. The delicious smell of Thai food filled the room. Dougie’s stomach rumbled in response. Sumalee laughed softly. She handed Dougie a plate, then began spooning food onto it. When she was done, she handed him the plate. Dougie took it from her. Began eating.

Sumalee watched him silently. Dougie glanced at her between mouthfuls. She was still smiling, but there was something in her eyes. Something he couldn’t identify. Dougie finished his meal. Sumalee took his plate from him, setting it aside. Then she took his hand again. “Why don’t we go relax in the bedroom?” Dougie frowned. He’d never gone to the bedroom with Sumalee before.

“Why?” Sumalee met his gaze. “Because I want to.” Dougie stared back at her. He didn’t say anything. Sumalee stood up. She tugged on his hand. “Come,” she said softly. Dougie stood up, too. He followed Sumalee into the bedroom.

Dougie lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Next to him, Sumalee lay curled up on her side. She was facing away from him. Fast asleep. Dougie sighed. It had been almost a year since that first night with Sumalee. Almost a year since she’d shown up at his apartment looking beautiful. Since she’d asked him to go to the bedroom with her. Since she’d made love to him. Since she’d told him she loved him.

It was strange how much things had changed since then. How much his life had changed. He never would have thought it could change so much. Or so fast. Dougie sighed again. Turned his head. Looked at Sumalee. She was so beautiful lying there. So peaceful. He watched her silently for a moment. Then he turned his attention back to the ceiling. He closed his eyes.

He’d really thought he would be okay when this day came. But now that it was here, he wasn’t. He wasn’t okay at all. He felt… empty. Dougie opened his eyes. Turned his head again. Looked back at Sumalee. He loved her. He really did. And he knew that Sumalee loved him, too. But things had become so difficult lately. So complicated. They couldn’t keep on like this. They couldn’t keep going on. It was time to move on.

Dougie stared at Sumalee. Took in her beautiful face. Her gorgeous body. He took a deep, shaky breath. Then he turned his attention back to the bedroom ceiling. Having spent too many years looking for ‘the one’, and now finding her, he knew that he needed to look … but not to find. He didn’t want to be like this, but this was the way he was.

He had made his decision. And now it was time. Time to start looking again.